Level One: The Wet Diaper
Degree of Life Interruption:
Minimal.
What Gets Ruined:
A diaper, possibly some dinner reservations.
Eventual Result:
Remember to add diapers to grocery list. Remind spouse to empty diaper pail.
Level Two: The Dirty Diaper
Degree of Life Interruption:
Medium.
What Gets Ruined:
A diaper, some pants, romance.
Eventual Result:
A bath for the kids.
Level Three: The Pooplosion
Degree of Life Interruption:
High.
What Gets Ruined:
A diaper, pants, shirt, socks, all plans for the following 2 hours, satisfaction with life choices.
Eventual Result:
A bath for the kids, a hot shower with lots of off-market horse soap for the parents, a stiff drink, the lingering possibility of never eating or feeling compassion again.
Level Four: The Poopocalypse
Degree of Life Interruption:
Life?? YOU CALL THIS A LIFE?
What Gets Ruined:
A diaper, pants, shirt, socks, sheets, wallpaper, toys, and the desire to carry on this pitiable, masochistic existence.
Eventual Result:
Vasectomy.
