Before I had kids, I had time to enjoy some of the finer things in life.

You know, like playing a video game for 14 consecutive hours before realizing that it’s daylight AGAIN, then staggering about in a borderline-psychotic daze, half-expecting flying killer chickens to jump out at you from behind the bushes at any moment and start gnawing on your face.

And then spending three days attempting to restore some semblance of sleep/wake patterns.

So in other words, thanks, kids – I was much stupider before I became a father.