Before I had kids, I had no idea . . . but the Third Burp?  The Third Burp is to be feared.

Burping your baby is necessary, of course.  It can be a challenge with some babies, but then it’s just all the more satisfying to coax out that burp, and provide some satisfaction to your child after they’ve finished doing irreparable damage to their mother’s breasts.

In fact, it can be satisfying to the point that a parent may try to pat extra vigorously in order to coax out as many wee little baby burps as possible.

This is not advisable.

Burp #1

**uurp**

Parents:

“Oooh, that’s a big boy!  That feels better, doesn’t it!”

Burp #2

**uuuuuurp**

Parents:

“Oh my, you did have a good lunch, didn’t you?  Didn’t you?  That’s Daddy’s big girl!

Birp #3

**uuuuuu . . . **

Parents:

“Oh god.  Get the paper towel.  It’s EVERYWHERE.”